When calling it quits is okay

Posted by Sherry Roit on Thursday, January 19, 2012

Quit, you say? NEVER you say.

We grow up hearing that winners never quit and quitters never win. Some of us may even grow up feeling that quitting is akin to breaking a promise. That it makes one a complete failure.

 I am not suggesting that winners quit-- or am I? They may have quit something in their lives. I'm sure they did.

Never mind the obvious examples. (To quit smoking, is a WIN.)

We're not talking about that today. I'm talking about recognizing that perhaps whatever it is you're trying to do, isn't the thing you're meant to do. Maybe the winners recognized that some other thing they tried first, wasn't it. It wasn't for them. They were never going to be good enough/passionate enough/driven enough.

Is that wrong? Is it better to drive yourself to depression, self-defeat, to live under so much pressure, to try to live up to a lofty idea you just can't reach?

Let me apply this to writing, which is my main goal, here. 
 
I've mentioned before that writer's block is not some mysterious outside force. It lives INSIDE YOU.  And sometimes, maybe that block you've (however accidentally/subconsciously) built for yourself, is because, hey. You don't really want to be a writer. You thought you did, but the truth is, it's not your first passion. Maybe someone told you that you should. Maybe it seemed like a cool choice. Maybe you should just do it once every three years for fun and no one ever sees it. Maybe, maybe, maybe.


But if you can do that elusive thing--elusive for some people--and be one hundred percent honest with yourself, maybe it's just plain not what you want to do. Or should do. Or are ever going to be good enough at. Maybe you wanted to do it once, and now you don't, anymore.

But it's not all that dire. It could also be that the particular story you are trying to write, is NOT the story you need/want/are meant to be writing! 


You know how sometimes you just can't spit out the name of that one movie, or that person, or whatever, but if you think about something else, distract yourself, the name POPS into your head? Yeah, maybe you need to do that with the story you were trying to write. Go do something, ANYTHING else. Or write something else. You may go back and finish that other one, later.

Or not. You might trash the other. AND THAT'S OKAY. Quit that sucker. Quit punishing yourself!

Perhaps we need to change the term. Quitting has such negative connotations, for many people. How about this:

Know when to LET GO.

Only then, might you see what it is you really want/need/should do.

You know what else? Maybe you only had one story in you, anyway. It's okay. That you got it out there is a win. Don't think that because you did one, it means you MUST keep doing it.

  What will people think, you say.


They'll think whatever they want to think. Thus it has always been. We spend far too much time worrying what other people think! If you must, you can always tell them you accomplished what you set out to do, and now wish to do something else. Is that so bad? 

NO! It's your life. Hold your head up, be proud. You may be meant for several things, who knows! Quitting one thing might be your path to freedom! 
 Or, pardon me, LETTING GO of that one thing...or several things.


Just let go. And slide. ;)

To finish this off, to let you know I'm not blowing smoke up your ass, this comes, as all my posts do, from my own experience. I had (among other issues) my moments of thinking I'd never write again, that I had no more stories, but I have to keep going, because crap! I'm a published author, so I'm supposed to! What will they think!

When I finally accepted the fact that hey, if I never publish another book,  my world won't end, and that I'd already accomplished something thousands dream of...Wow.

 
I felt better. I understood that it was okay if I quit. But I also realized, that I didn't really want to quit. I'd figure it out. I go slower than I did before, but I haven't outright quit. Who knows how many I'll do in the rest of my lifetime. One? Three? Ten? I don't know. But that's okay. There are other things to do, as well. Even just role playing is writing, and something I like.

I've let go of a number representing the end all be all of success.

And for the record: feeling like it was okay to quit, does not negate having passion for the story, or writing. Sometimes passion burns bright, and burns out. You bet your ass I was writing with passion. It felt like it faded, last year. I wanted it back. It was probably all the pressure I placed on myself. That'll suck passion RIGHT outta ya.

But what if it leaves for good? What if you can find no list of reasons? You just don't have it...well.

 
What do you need to let go of?


Tags: writing  quitting 
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When calling it quits is okay

Posted by Sherry Roit on Thursday, January 19, 2012

Quit, you say? NEVER you say.

We grow up hearing that winners never quit and quitters never win. Some of us may even grow up feeling that quitting is akin to breaking a promise. That it makes one a complete failure.

 I am not suggesting that winners quit-- or am I? They may have quit something in their lives. I'm sure they did.

Never mind the obvious examples. (To quit smoking, is a WIN.)

We're not talking about that today. I'm talking about recognizing that perhaps whatever it is you're trying to do, isn't the thing you're meant to do. Maybe the winners recognized that some other thing they tried first, wasn't it. It wasn't for them. They were never going to be good enough/passionate enough/driven enough.

Is that wrong? Is it better to drive yourself to depression, self-defeat, to live under so much pressure, to try to live up to a lofty idea you just can't reach?

Let me apply this to writing, which is my main goal, here. 
 
I've mentioned before that writer's block is not some mysterious outside force. It lives INSIDE YOU.  And sometimes, maybe that block you've (however accidentally/subconsciously) built for yourself, is because, hey. You don't really want to be a writer. You thought you did, but the truth is, it's not your first passion. Maybe someone told you that you should. Maybe it seemed like a cool choice. Maybe you should just do it once every three years for fun and no one ever sees it. Maybe, maybe, maybe.


But if you can do that elusive thing--elusive for some people--and be one hundred percent honest with yourself, maybe it's just plain not what you want to do. Or should do. Or are ever going to be good enough at. Maybe you wanted to do it once, and now you don't, anymore.

But it's not all that dire. It could also be that the particular story you are trying to write, is NOT the story you need/want/are meant to be writing! 


You know how sometimes you just can't spit out the name of that one movie, or that person, or whatever, but if you think about something else, distract yourself, the name POPS into your head? Yeah, maybe you need to do that with the story you were trying to write. Go do something, ANYTHING else. Or write something else. You may go back and finish that other one, later.

Or not. You might trash the other. AND THAT'S OKAY. Quit that sucker. Quit punishing yourself!

Perhaps we need to change the term. Quitting has such negative connotations, for many people. How about this:

Know when to LET GO.

Only then, might you see what it is you really want/need/should do.

You know what else? Maybe you only had one story in you, anyway. It's okay. That you got it out there is a win. Don't think that because you did one, it means you MUST keep doing it.

  What will people think, you say.


They'll think whatever they want to think. Thus it has always been. We spend far too much time worrying what other people think! If you must, you can always tell them you accomplished what you set out to do, and now wish to do something else. Is that so bad? 

NO! It's your life. Hold your head up, be proud. You may be meant for several things, who knows! Quitting one thing might be your path to freedom! 
 Or, pardon me, LETTING GO of that one thing...or several things.


Just let go. And slide. ;)

To finish this off, to let you know I'm not blowing smoke up your ass, this comes, as all my posts do, from my own experience. I had (among other issues) my moments of thinking I'd never write again, that I had no more stories, but I have to keep going, because crap! I'm a published author, so I'm supposed to! What will they think!

When I finally accepted the fact that hey, if I never publish another book,  my world won't end, and that I'd already accomplished something thousands dream of...Wow.

 
I felt better. I understood that it was okay if I quit. But I also realized, that I didn't really want to quit. I'd figure it out. I go slower than I did before, but I haven't outright quit. Who knows how many I'll do in the rest of my lifetime. One? Three? Ten? I don't know. But that's okay. There are other things to do, as well. Even just role playing is writing, and something I like.

I've let go of a number representing the end all be all of success.

And for the record: feeling like it was okay to quit, does not negate having passion for the story, or writing. Sometimes passion burns bright, and burns out. You bet your ass I was writing with passion. It felt like it faded, last year. I wanted it back. It was probably all the pressure I placed on myself. That'll suck passion RIGHT outta ya.

But what if it leaves for good? What if you can find no list of reasons? You just don't have it...well.

 
What do you need to let go of?


Tags: writing  quitting 
blog comments powered by Disqus
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