The Pits.

Posted by Sherry Roit on Wednesday, November 3, 2010 Under: General


My, I can be a moody bitch. This, of course, isn't a newsflash. Not for myself, anyway. It might be for you. It's been a wonderful Fall here, and certainly there have been some high points, but...

Well, first up: You writers out there, have you ever— after going through an endless lists of reasons why you're not writing— come to the conclusion that you're not writing, because you just don't want to any more? Maybe you done wrote all the words you ever felt like writing, and now...screw it?

Then did you say to yourself, wow. That's a horrible thought, even if it IS true. Now I really feel like shit!

I've had that, lately. But then, I think about these three projects I have going, and how much I'd like them to be finished. (By someone else? No, no no. Sounds good for about a second, someone else doing it. Although, fairies might do a decent job of it). Then I ask myself why I want them finished. Another list of reasons emerges. But somehow, it's feeling a whole lot like work, or something. I get in my chair, open up the document and...ugh. All these avoidance tactics emerge...like this!

Of course, it would also seem that I'm depressed. I'm not certain which came first.  I was going to say that I'm in a "fuck it" mode, but there are things that I actually do care about right now, some of which have stressed me, so clearly, I'm not doing well with the "fuck it" way, as much as I'd like to. I'm supposed to have a first date today, and part of me says "fuck it", but another part says hey, it might help. Get your ass out that door.  I don't  think it's him (I hope...) so much as me having some hermit-like tendencies (which happens often), lately. I don't think it would matter who was doing the asking, I would still hiss and climb back into my hole to fester and be as apathetic as possible. Or at least, try. I'm split down the middle between apathy, "fuck it, fuck you all" and feeling...oh wait, that's thirds. ARGH.

You know...really, I just want to run away. Just for while. Okay? Except I can't quite do that. I ask myself why I can't do that. Another list of reasons emerges, damn it.

I just may need a second job, too. Things are looking bad. The idea of working two jobs kills another part of my soul, but what must be done, must be done, and I'll NEVER get to run away if I don't stash some moola.

I submitted a short for an anthology, yesterday. It's not my best work by far. Either that, or my mood makes me think it sucks.

No...it's not my best. But I sent it anyway.

I believe I've whinged and rambled and bleurghed enough, now. Something I don't generally do in public, FFS.

How do you get out of such stupors? Or do you just accept that it is what it is, and it'll pass...or not. Either way, you'll have an answer: to write, or not to write.

Right?

In : General 


Tags: writing  moods  depression 
blog comments powered by Disqus

The Pits.

Posted by Sherry Roit on Wednesday, November 3, 2010 Under: General


My, I can be a moody bitch. This, of course, isn't a newsflash. Not for myself, anyway. It might be for you. It's been a wonderful Fall here, and certainly there have been some high points, but...

Well, first up: You writers out there, have you ever— after going through an endless lists of reasons why you're not writing— come to the conclusion that you're not writing, because you just don't want to any more? Maybe you done wrote all the words you ever felt like writing, and now...screw it?

Then did you say to yourself, wow. That's a horrible thought, even if it IS true. Now I really feel like shit!

I've had that, lately. But then, I think about these three projects I have going, and how much I'd like them to be finished. (By someone else? No, no no. Sounds good for about a second, someone else doing it. Although, fairies might do a decent job of it). Then I ask myself why I want them finished. Another list of reasons emerges. But somehow, it's feeling a whole lot like work, or something. I get in my chair, open up the document and...ugh. All these avoidance tactics emerge...like this!

Of course, it would also seem that I'm depressed. I'm not certain which came first.  I was going to say that I'm in a "fuck it" mode, but there are things that I actually do care about right now, some of which have stressed me, so clearly, I'm not doing well with the "fuck it" way, as much as I'd like to. I'm supposed to have a first date today, and part of me says "fuck it", but another part says hey, it might help. Get your ass out that door.  I don't  think it's him (I hope...) so much as me having some hermit-like tendencies (which happens often), lately. I don't think it would matter who was doing the asking, I would still hiss and climb back into my hole to fester and be as apathetic as possible. Or at least, try. I'm split down the middle between apathy, "fuck it, fuck you all" and feeling...oh wait, that's thirds. ARGH.

You know...really, I just want to run away. Just for while. Okay? Except I can't quite do that. I ask myself why I can't do that. Another list of reasons emerges, damn it.

I just may need a second job, too. Things are looking bad. The idea of working two jobs kills another part of my soul, but what must be done, must be done, and I'll NEVER get to run away if I don't stash some moola.

I submitted a short for an anthology, yesterday. It's not my best work by far. Either that, or my mood makes me think it sucks.

No...it's not my best. But I sent it anyway.

I believe I've whinged and rambled and bleurghed enough, now. Something I don't generally do in public, FFS.

How do you get out of such stupors? Or do you just accept that it is what it is, and it'll pass...or not. Either way, you'll have an answer: to write, or not to write.

Right?

In : General 


Tags: writing  moods  depression 
blog comments powered by Disqus
Make a Free Website with Yola.