Nostalgia and stasis

Posted by Sherry Roit on Thursday, May 3, 2012


I'm going back home to Missouri (round the Ozarks) in mid June, to see my parents. It is their 50th wedding anniversary, and that's amazing to me. They were high school sweet hearts.

This may seem strange to say, but I'm more excited about going than I would expect. Not because I don't love my parents and want to see them. I find I'm craving that simplicity of life, that slower pace, and I know damned well some of it can't truly be recaptured; you know, that time of innocence when you were a child, before the stress of going to work, paying bills, and "grown-up" relationships.

I dream of travelling to places farther away, but there is something calling to me strongly, this time. about going home. Maybe, just maybe, I can touch a phantom of that old life. Of course, some of it was spent in Iowa, yet Missouri birthed me, and to Missouri we returned.

June. That sticky, wet heat, a sun that'll deep fry you in 15 minutes flat. The buzz of flies, slapping at mosquitoes, and the taste, scent and electric tingle of a thunderstorm on the horizon. 

And fireflies. I miss fireflies.

I feel as if I'm in this strange place of stasis. A fuge? Nostalgic, yet wanting to find a new adventure. And thus, I may be stagnating. I don't know if this particular trip will trigger something. I don't know anything. I'm trying not to place too much on the idea that xyz will make abc, better.

I keep stalling on writing, even though I know I can finish the damned things. Yes, obviously, I'm missing something that makes me not as happy as I could be.

But I probably won't tell you what that is, even if I figure it out completely.

I spend too much time online. Not that I don't have some fun, and have some great connections online, but it's one of the things that trips my OCD wires far too much. Obsessively, compulsively, checking to see if anything new has happened, or someone has said something...

It's got to stop. I have all this time, and allow that to suck it away. Difficult when I write on a laptop, and it's soooo easy to just click a link here, click a link there...

But of course, even cutting back means I'll be on each day, just that I'm going to try not to sit and hang on every moment of WiFi. Good grief, I can go off for road trips and not care at all, other than the fun of sharing photos. I don't mind the "isolation", I crave it!


Yes. Changes need to be made and only I can make them. We'll see what going home, does. Possibly it's another fantasy of a time that once was and can never repeat itself.
 


Tags: life  travel  streaming 
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Nostalgia and stasis

Posted by Sherry Roit on Thursday, May 3, 2012


I'm going back home to Missouri (round the Ozarks) in mid June, to see my parents. It is their 50th wedding anniversary, and that's amazing to me. They were high school sweet hearts.

This may seem strange to say, but I'm more excited about going than I would expect. Not because I don't love my parents and want to see them. I find I'm craving that simplicity of life, that slower pace, and I know damned well some of it can't truly be recaptured; you know, that time of innocence when you were a child, before the stress of going to work, paying bills, and "grown-up" relationships.

I dream of travelling to places farther away, but there is something calling to me strongly, this time. about going home. Maybe, just maybe, I can touch a phantom of that old life. Of course, some of it was spent in Iowa, yet Missouri birthed me, and to Missouri we returned.

June. That sticky, wet heat, a sun that'll deep fry you in 15 minutes flat. The buzz of flies, slapping at mosquitoes, and the taste, scent and electric tingle of a thunderstorm on the horizon. 

And fireflies. I miss fireflies.

I feel as if I'm in this strange place of stasis. A fuge? Nostalgic, yet wanting to find a new adventure. And thus, I may be stagnating. I don't know if this particular trip will trigger something. I don't know anything. I'm trying not to place too much on the idea that xyz will make abc, better.

I keep stalling on writing, even though I know I can finish the damned things. Yes, obviously, I'm missing something that makes me not as happy as I could be.

But I probably won't tell you what that is, even if I figure it out completely.

I spend too much time online. Not that I don't have some fun, and have some great connections online, but it's one of the things that trips my OCD wires far too much. Obsessively, compulsively, checking to see if anything new has happened, or someone has said something...

It's got to stop. I have all this time, and allow that to suck it away. Difficult when I write on a laptop, and it's soooo easy to just click a link here, click a link there...

But of course, even cutting back means I'll be on each day, just that I'm going to try not to sit and hang on every moment of WiFi. Good grief, I can go off for road trips and not care at all, other than the fun of sharing photos. I don't mind the "isolation", I crave it!


Yes. Changes need to be made and only I can make them. We'll see what going home, does. Possibly it's another fantasy of a time that once was and can never repeat itself.
 


Tags: life  travel  streaming 
blog comments powered by Disqus

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